


"I'm sorry I didn't look for you" - Kuroo Tetsurou

by Kimi09



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, How Do I Tag, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Mentioned Kuroo Tetsurou, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26788972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimi09/pseuds/Kimi09
Summary: Reader and Kuroo are deeply in love but there is one obstacle between their love. They're both in different worlds. Would they just accept it and leave? Or will they work with it until they're both in each other's arms?Warning:Suicidal scenes so if triggered, please DO NOT read.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou & Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	"I'm sorry I didn't look for you" - Kuroo Tetsurou

**Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou X Reader**

**Warnings: Mention of Self-harm, Slight swearing, Suicide.** _**Angst.**_

**Italics -** _Like this_ **\- are memories.**

**Enjoy reading.**

**\------------------------------------------------------------**

  
Silence was not necessarily bad most of the time. It's a sign of comfort and a calm atmosphere. That wasn't the case with Kuroo as he looked at the female in the screen right in front of him, eyes scanning her as his hand was unable to reach her.

' _ **She's in a different world**_ ' he reminded himself.

He had known her for almost 3 years now. One thing he knew for sure. He was in love with her as much as she was in love with him.

"Y/N..?" The male decided to start, unsure of what reaction he would get from the female who was oddly quiet. Of course, he had expected it to be a bad day or maybe that time of the month, but being this upset on her graduation day? He didn't understand that at all.

"I know." Was her simple, most confusing reply. Kuroo didn't understand what she meant but that was enough to send chills all over his body. For some reason, he was...

... ** _scared_**.

The girl then looked at his face, eyes glossy with tears as her lips trembled slightly, seeming as if she was unable to speak. As if her voice was taken away from her.

"Huh?" The small reply from the black haired male didn't help the situation. It didn't help the fact that he couldn't get a proper answer from his small reply. He needed to ask something more detailed to know what was wrong with her but he couldn't bring himself to ask anything, in fear that it was that day that was approaching.

**_That day where she'd.. Let go._ **

The young (h/c)nette didn't seem like she wanted to go all out. She had a lot to say. She didn't want to make this harsh more than it already was. "Tetsu, do you remember when we first met?" She asked, allowing a tear to slip down her cheek as she said that, eyes lowering to her wrist which now had a set of scars. Some fresh and some already healed.

"When.. we first met?" The male, who was in his second year of university asked, unsure of why she brought the topic which went back to 3 years ago. "Of course I remember, Y/N... Why?" He wouldn't allow this weird question to pass by. Why would he?

But would the female answer his question? Not yet. Not at this moment at least. "You said, someone from your class said it would be funny to join this server because it's linked to your world and mine, so it was fun to see people Squealing in surprise." The girl hummed, usually smiling at this memory but this time, she let out a heartbreaking sob as she recalled what he said.

_"Huh? Meme page?" The brunette asked as she was looking for something to erase her boredom, Just to find a new thing to pass time with but when she opened the website, it wrote something unexpected,if anything, very weird._   
_'You and @Oyaoya opened the server simultaneously.'_   
_And anyone would be creeped up by something like that. Soon enough, The website opened a camera for both users, startling the girl. "Oyaoya?" She asked , stating his username as she looked at a male's face. "Oh- you're 'the.amazing.Y/N'?" The black haired male asked, looking rather amused. "Mhm. I'm confused but.. lets share our contacts. I think we'd have some good time chatting." The brunette smiled, already feeling lonely when she was home. She needed a friend and.. he seemed friendly enough. "Sounds good to me, Chibi. You don't seem old though" the boy spoke, making the girl laugh. "I'm in my first year. Highscool." She shrugged. "Oh? So I'm older?" He asked with a small smirk. "Second year?" The female asked. "Third." He corrected. "Kuroo Tetsurou." He introduced. "L/N Y/N Nice to meet ya, Kuroo." The female laughed._

"We didn't know each other but we clicked instantly.." Y/N hummed, her thumb slowly brushing against her scars, glad that Kuroo wasn't able to see everything she did. There was a limit to where a computer's camera could reach. "We couldn't find a way to connect but.. we made out own server.." she choked out, making the male even more scared- terrified to hear what all this was about. "Too much for both of us being nerds, huh?" She Sheepishly asked, trying not to cry it all out.

Kuroo knew what was happening now, and there was no running away from it. He decided it was better to say what was inside instead of just listen. "And the time you refused to skip my first official match.." he humed, averting his eyes from the screen, remembering how excited the girl was. "You.. You made me open the camera the whole time so you could watch me.." he chuckled, not wanting to admit that it took him hours to convince one of his classmates to hold his phone up the whole time to only do that for her. "You were perfect on the court, Tetsu." The brunette admitted, wishing that things could be better than this.

_The rooster head was extremely happy to know that Y/N, his now girlfriend, would be able to watch the match. "I owe you!" He called out as he ran back to the changing rooms before coming out in the court. Little did Y/N know, Kuroo made sure that everything on his screen was recorded and after the match, he would hear her cheers for him._

_"Yes! That's my Tetsu! Go get it boy!"_

_"Tetsu! Okay! Nice! You can catch up, Dummy!"_

_"You guys are at match point! Aye! That's how my boy does it!"_

_"What? They caught up? Baby beat their asses up!"_

_And more of those filled the tape. The Captain felt blessed to have someone, no, not someone,her to be exact, to cheer for him like that. By the end of the match, he smiled wildly at her squeal._

_"Tetsu! You won! You really did! I knew you could do it! I love you!"_

Kimi ran her fingers through her hair, her sleeve covering her scars as she decided to speak again. "And the times I woke you up midnight because I had a Nightmare. And you promised that one day, you'd come here and hold me in your arms." She whispered, knowing that they were reaching to the topic.

_The (h/c)nette woke up with tears streaming down her cheeks, Immediately calling her rooster head, waiting for him to pick up. "T-Tetsu please, pick up." Her small hiccups and sobs filled the quiet air of the room, sobs getting slightly louder when the male answered. "Babygirl?" He asked, hearing her sobs and Immediately sitting up. "Babygirl? Are you okay? Baby?" He asked, freaking out as he saw her crying. "Tetsu, they came again. They haunt me." The girl sobbed out, hugging herself tightly, wishing he was there beside her. "Y/N," he Whispered deeply, quietly, lovingly and sweetly. "Baby, I am here. You don't have to be scared.." and there he started whispering sweet nothings to her, watching her as she eventually calmed down, smiling softly as he saw her almost falling back asleep. "I promise, babygirl, one day, you'd wake up from your sleep and you'd be in my arms and I'd be able to kiss you and cuddle you all you want. Okay baby?" He asked, making the girl open her eyes and nod. "Thank you, Tetsu."_

"And the time you promised me to build that machine to connect our worlds, to get us to meet." Kuroo bitterly chuckled. "And you even graduated with straight A's. We're almost there, Y/N." Kuroo, allowed a tear to slip down his cheek, looking at the miserable state his girlfriend was in, his sentence making her break down. "It exploded. Everything.. even the data.. everything exploded.. My leg is now paralyzed." Y/N cried out, unable to hold it anymore. "My hands are no longer able to function properly. I was able to answer this call because the code was saved in one button, Tetsu. My future, everything is gone!" She cried out, face flushed and eyes bloodshot red.

"Wh-what?" The male asked, not even knowing that Y/N was already working on the machine of their dreams. "When? When Y/N? How long would've you hidden that?" He asked, now understanding the times Y/N looked sleepless, restless and exhausted.

"I was supposed to surprise you, Tetsu. But.. I lost everything while doing that." She allowed a heart shattering laugh to escape her lips. "I thought.. that we had a chance," she stated, tears falling like waterfalls from her eyes. "I'm sorry I lead you on. I shouldn't have placed High hopes." She kept her sobs to a minimum but that didn't help either. "I... I'm no longer mentally stable, Tetsu." She gave out her last secret. Last secret before he found about the secret she hadn't achieved yet. Her eyes now went on the blade which was in her shakey hand. Her hand seemed to be struggling to hold the blade but she clenched her hand at it. She had to do it.

"No longer **_mentally stable?_** Y/N! What the heck are you talking about?!" The male now stood up and yelled, his worry and anger blinding him from how she reacted when he screamed. "Why haven't you told me sooner? Why?!" He screamed again, his mother walking into his room as he screamed at the girl. "Tetsurou! Calm down! What's wrong?" She asked but the boy muted his audio, talked to his mother for a few seconds before unmuting himself, his mother no longer in his room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" but his words were stopped by one sentence from her. "We're over." She whispered, making the male freeze in his place, not knowing what to say. "What? Y/N, Love, you can't just do that. We only need a few more years, even less! Give me a chance to try!" He tried reasoning up with her but the girl didn't even remove her gaze from the now bloody knife that was slicing her wrist open, blood dripping on the already crimson red carpet. "You have to let go off me, just like How I'm letting go off you now." She shrugged her shoulders, her eyes no longer tearing up.

"You can't be fucking serious, Y/N! 3 years? Did they mean nothing to you? Did all those memories mean nothing to you? The tattoo we both got. Did that mean nothing to you as well?" He kept throwing questions.

" ** _It all meant everything to me_** " she Whispered,only for Kuroo to slam his hands on the table, making the girl startled, pushing the blade deeper in her wrist than she usually would, letting out a loud whimper.

"Then why? Why Y/N? Why the fuck are you giving up now? Why are you letting go? Why?!" He cried out, finally breaking into a fit of sobs.

"One day, you'll understand." She whispered, smiling weakly as she decided to say whatever was deep inside her.

"But.. maybe, Tetsu.. maybe One day, in another life, I'll be with you. I'll fall into your arms, Tetsu and then you'd be able to hold me. Right?" Her voice was going weaker and weaker yet that wasn't noticed by Kuroo. "And then I could.. fulfill my promises and.." she slowly began breathing heavily, causing his eyes to look at her face which was growing paler each second. "Y-Y/N?" He asked, unsure of what was happening. "M-Maybe I'll be able to stay there, Tetsu. That way would you say that I was the one who got away? You wouldn't, right? You'll find me, right? You'll look for me, won't you?" She chuckled, almost losing all her senses.

" ** _I'm scared- Tetsu I'm scared. What If I don't get a second chance? What if after I die I don't have another life?_** " The female was now more than fragile. It was easy to say that she wasn't in the best condition to yell at nor get blamed.

"Y/N, baby, I don't want to let go, Please." Kuroo seemed just as fragile. He thought maybe they could solve this. Maybe there was a way around. He didn't know that now,it was impossible to fix anything. "Don't say that, Chibi. I don't want to hear that from you.. _**it breaks me**_.." his voice cracked as his tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Tetsu..?" Her voice was merely a whisper as she tried wiping her tears away and that's when Kuroo saw it. Her bloody wrist. "Y/N!" He screamed, watching as her eyes slowly closed and her last words left her lips. " ** _Lets meet.. in another.. world.. okay?_** " She breathed out, her final three words almost inaudible but he heard them so well before she collapsed right in front of his eyes.

" ** _I love you._** "

\-------------------------------

_In another world, in where lovers get to meet, was Kimi stuck. There was no death. One rule was there._

_If you are no longer in someone's heart, you fade away as if you never existed, while if you kiss your lover, you both get one more chance for a happy life._

"Or that's what they say at least, huh?" Y/N asked herself, looking around. "Where are you Tetsu? Are you still in the world of the living?" The (h/c)nette spent years waiting for him, everyday wilting slowly yet surely. She was almost getting hopeless until one day she saw him. She saw the love of her life yet every time she got closer, she Frowned.

"He.. **_removed the.. tattoo_**?" She asked herself as she remembered the day they both got their tattoos.

A few more steps and she already felt her existence fading away as he was about to kiss another girl. "T..Tetsu...?" She asked, the boy flinched, turning around, seeing how shattered the girl was. She was... dissolving into nothing.

"Y/N-"

"So even in the other life **_I'm not yours.._** " she laughed, hand on her face as she tried to be happy about herself before smiling at the girl. " ** _Thank you for Loving, Tetsu. Please make him Happy!_** " She grinned, waving at them as she dissolved in front of them, leaving the two in guilt and pain.

"I hope you live happily! I.. Love you Tetsu!" She beamed, fading into nothingness, her existence was merely.. a memory.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. _**I.. didn't look for you.**_ "

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**Word count|| 2407**


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